I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
