dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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