literally had 100 drinks last night.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
