All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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