Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
