i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
