I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
only you would photoshop your dick
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
