that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
