god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
