I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
