Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
