Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
