I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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