I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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