he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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