i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
