every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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