I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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