I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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