im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
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