Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
