My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
