Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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