If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Come see our sink grown plant.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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