I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
