Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
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