She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
