return my video game
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
