My room smells like vodka and shame
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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