We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
