I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
