Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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