ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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