the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
