brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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