went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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