It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
