did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
one might say we're banned from that church
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
