So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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