direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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