Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
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