White coat. Heels.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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