i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
