I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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