Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
