look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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