checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
