At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
