dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
