I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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